STRIPPER'S DAUGHTER
If stripping was necessary for the creation of my tapestry then my mother did a fantastic job. That is one quality my mother was always very good at. Like a chameleon she was able to transform herself from a pastor's daughters to an exotic dancer. She tucked away her intelligence and her Christian morals so that she could pretend to love and attempt to fabricate a world for herself to exist in. So my mother explored the darkest corners of the brothel to find it. The men she pulled out were not kings; they weren’t even royalty. My mother sacrificed her crown and her sword for an empty covenant of love. The indentations on her knees were no longer from the kneelers in the church, but I suppose the pain in her feet was still from being at work all night.
When little black girls examine global history they do not find their stories written by their blood, they see it written in it. Our ancestors blood has stained the plantation grounds, been smeared across the foundations of businesses, and continuously taken for granted. This African blood is now diluted, but still exotic. Little black girls search for histories similar to their own, but there is nothing. Jewish people went into Auschwitz and came out Jews. Africans went to America and came out Black. Black people in America are not truly African Americans. The only reason why we are given the blanket statement of African American is because it is impossible to determine which country or tribe our ancestors came from before being stripped of everything they once knew. Not only are we unable to know where they came from, but we are separated from any royalty we would have once been entitled because the royal bloodline disintegrated in the veins of the passengers of the first slave ships as soon as they left the shore.
Every little black girl is taught they’re royalty even though their is no way to prove it. Every little black girl is not royal in reality. This lie is the only way that black parents can avoid crushing the innocence of their daughters and yet we have no modern queens to look to. If the royal blood disintegrated, how then are little black girls royal? A queen must then learn from great queens in the histories in which they have access; a little black girl’s experience is based off of the learned fear of white supremacy. That is slavery not royalty. Should we allow mothers to be the example for their daughters? The obvious answer is yes, but there are some instances where the only thing that your mother has learned has been the anatomy of men, do you want to learn it?
The reason why strippers use fake names is to not only draw in men by demeaning themselves by not giving the respect of a real name, but to also separate themselves from their actions because a part of them is ashamed of their actions. For my mother it was Princess, Angel, Miss Thang, etc. I haven’t yet learned to disguise my sexual escapades through aliases for my other aliases. I never learned to feel ashamed for my actions. Perhaps that is due to my lack of religious conviction.
I am not a giver; I get that from my father. I am not merciful; I get that from my grandmother. I am not faithful; I get that from my mother. I am not chaste; I get that from both of my parents, and my grandparents, and most likely their parents as well. I am not trustworthy; I get that from my mother. I am not lenient; I get that from my grandfather. I am not serious; I get that from my mother. I am not religious; I get that from my father. I am however considered to be bold and courageous, but that comes from the learned habits of black skin in America. Perhaps if ties were not cut to my royal ancestry I would’ve learned to be all of the things I am not, maybe my mother would have learned as well. Perhaps the learned behavior of every little black girl would not be to pretend she is a princess to escape the fact that when she reaches sexual maturity she will be raped more times than she can count between life and the men in it.